Sunday, November 18, 2007

10 Things That Always Have To, Have To Happen To Me

No. 1
Every single time that I walk in to the bathroom and begin my business (the duration notwithstanding), the cellphone has to ring and it rings and rings, and rings while I grit my teeth and continue my “work” after all a girl’s gotta to do what a girl’s gotta do. I don’t understand why people keep on holding on to a ringing phone even if there is no answer from the other side especially when it is a call made to a cell phone .
So, Folks, next time you call on my cell and I do not answer in 30 seconds, HANG UP…my phone has CLI and if your call is of any importance to me, I WILL call you back as soon as I have “finished”.
On second thoughts, maybe I should change my catchy caller tune (Billy Joel’s River of Dreams) to get people to disconnect unanswered calls to my cell faster.


Whenever I go grocery shopping to any supermarket ( for e.g. Food Bazaar) and I am in a hurry to get out because (tick one) :
a.We are going to have guests over.
b.I am running late for one appointment or the other.
c. I am bone tired and my feet are killing me.

I will end up standing in what I think is the shortest billing queue but inevitably some one with a lot of time on their hands ahead of me will either end up :
a. With a declined card and will begin a monologue entitled “ How Could My Card Be Declined” directed at the teller and then begin a lengthy process of restructuring his/her purchases WITHOUT stepping out of the queue.
b. Deciding to review the contents of his/her shopping cart just as they reach the teller counter.
c. And something that is unique to Kolkata, Adult Son wearing a BPO logoed T-Shirt does the purchasing and (usually) pays through a card, and his parents re-check the bill and tally off the purchases(again while standing in the queue blocking the teller counter for us lesser mortals) to ensure that their “Darling Bumba” has not been “cheated” . GRRRRRRRRRR……………

No. 3

In a similar vein to Point 2 above, whenever I stand in the queue at the metro station to buy a ticket, some moronic passenger will end up flashing a 100 or worse 500 Rupee note for a 6 Re. ticket leading to first of all a war of words with the person manning the counter(he is a Govt. servant sothe lucky fellow can let off steam at morons without worrying about “customer satisfaction” ) and then further delays as the change is handed over in coins and ten rupee notes. By the time everything is done and it is my turn to get a ticket I have already missed two trains.

No. 4
I walk in to a beauty parlour with a friend and while she emerges looking and feeling great and gushing about the girl who had taken care of her, I emerge feeling like something that the cat dragged in, complaining about the grumpy/incompetent thing who had been assigned to me…. And when I crib about the bad haircut…my companion usually agrees to the fact that it IS bad……Awwwwwwwww.

No. 5
A corollary to the point above my hair never looks the way I have been promised it would look no matter where I go or how much I spend or which stylist works on my hair.It resembles what it always has resembled …an unpruned tea bush.

My tailor will never ever fail in goofing up at least on item of clothing that I have assigned to him for stitching and it will have to be without fail the most expensive material in the collection of pieces that I have given him.

No. 7
The rare occasions when I do get to the bus stop earlier in the morning, the bus will be late or not come that day or get caught in a traffic jam or have a flat tyre or an accident and I will be late to work yet again.

No. 8
The rare days on which I am able to leave work before 9 pm and I naively consider myself lucky , I will find myself stuck for at least an hour in a traffic jam caused by an intelligence-deficient individual driving a vehicle on Raja S.C. Mullick Road ( Kolkata’s most ill-disciplined road) and reach home even after my regular time.

No. 9
No matter how much I examine an article (which is not a book/cd/or an item of food or clothing) before buying it, I still end up with a defective piece or I find some item missing when I proudly unpack my latest acquisition…much heart ache, sarcasm and prolonged phone calls follow as I try to set my wronged self right.

No. 10
I sit down to do some serious work which has a deadline and creative calamities strike my colleagues and customers for which they have to requisition my services and no I cannot delegate, it always needs my attention…the deadline comes and goes and I am still on the phone, “firefighting” …but I have kept this as no 10 because I have found a way around this and it has something to do with removing the battery from my cell phone for a few hours and diverting my landline calls to whichever colleague has earned my wrath for the day !

As a result of points 1 to 10 , I have now ceased to make any kind of plans and expecting everything that I do to have a caveat on the lines of Murphy’s Laws and my life somehow chugs on…atleast I am luckier than those people who appear to be so calm, cool and poised but have all kinds of complicated problems gnawing at their insides. I am always looking hassled but atleast I sleep easy at night. Touchwood.


Another thing that ought to have been up there....Blogger nevers lets me put up my posts at one go.


teahouse said...

Hhmm...sounds like a whole lot of Murphy's Law to me!!

Try to keep a positive attitude. I know it's hard sometimes..but what about all of the wonderful things that happen? There must be some..I always try to make a list of that kind of stuff when I feel down. Which is a lot these days...

The Weekend Blogger said...

THB : I do keep a note of the good things that happen to me but sheer superstition prevents me from talking openly about them. Believe me, I do have a lot to be grateful for !

Aqua said...

Murphy's Law at it's worst i say. i too can rattle off a list :)

TC bondhu!!!

eve's lungs said...

You're not alone , you know ...!I feel inspired to list my woes too.

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